something dead that doesn’t know it’s dead. a painting, for instance. an abstraction.

hi–

that’s a line from richard siken’s poem “landscape w fruit rot and millipede”

it’s been a thing i’ve been resonating with–really, richard siken in general

so, i’ve returned to the world–well, i’m returning to the world slowly

the tl;dr: i was very ill, was hospitalized, was in a physical rehab facility, and am still in physical therapy, so i’m interacting with the world writ-large in a very limited, circumspect manner at the moment (the joys of disability in a country & state that doesn’t see the need to actually take care of its most vulnerable citizens)

but, i’m here, and i’m alive

*insert “the last unicorn” here*

however, because i’m still very much cooped up, i’ve been painting nothing but skies and stars, clouds and geometry

i mean, i’m really enjoying painting them, but i also feel like i should be doing other things? marketable things?

i guess they’re marketable, sellable, things? they just aren’t as easily ubiquitizable *hands*

and, as if the sky & stars, clouds & geometry series doesn’t have ptsd written all over it, i’ve also been doing something i’ve been calling the recovery project, which is literally just abstrated and/or highly processed photos of the things and places and spaces that are making up my recovery process

it’s so expositional

there are more typical digital pieces that i’ve been creating–mostly of various types of redcaps and almost-funerary-flowers, truth be told, which is probably the having been ill and the ptsd and increased mental health issues, et al. that’s been going on–and not nearly as many physical, traditional illustration as i’d like

but, hopefully, #mermay will sort some of that out

a massive–yes, jodie, massive–part of the art-creation problem is that the terrible infection that i was hospitalized for also got into my hands, and although i’m largely ambidextrous, i’m still quicker and more comfortable drawing with my right hand, and that hand had to be operated on because of the infection

then, throw in the sheer, mind-boggling expense of having been ill–and, this is with really incredible health insurance–hemlock house & tentacle-made studios are kind of skint, which means that i feel bad about not having a new glut of prints, et al. for wiscon next month, but i am determined that there will be an array of watercolor paintings and mermaids, so there’s that at least

but, hey, i’ve got some cons that i’m going to be

47720539401_c9e95fbc53_b

and, if y’all have missed my face, i have been doing some vlogging

and, i’ve been doing some twitch streaming, but it got put on the backburner because i wasn’t feeling well, and i just haven’t had the chance to since–some of that is because i’ve been working on camp nano this month, and i’m editing, and a lot of the editing thus far has been me rereading the text(s) and sorting them out because, evidently, i’m literally writing four novels at once

*hands*

it’s kinda boring to watch me read

so, yeah, i’m back? sorta?

i’m trying to be back, at least, which has to count for something

(and, my insomnia is becoming productive again, which might mean i’m readjusting to the universe again?)

okay, imma go back to sleep, or imma try to

do good

be kind

be brave

courage

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