(from richard siken’s “a primer for small weird loves”)
(the blog post title if from richard siken’ “landscape with a blur of conquerors” from war of the foxes–siken recently had a stroke, and there’s a gofundme to help with his rehabilitation if y’all have a few dollars and can help? that’s be solid of y’all) Continue reading
that’s a line from richard siken’s poem “landscape w fruit rot and millipede”
it’s been a thing i’ve been resonating with–really, richard siken in general
so, i’ve returned to the world–well, i’m returning to the world slowly
so–i’m not going to be at anime fusion this weekend after all because of medical things, which means that i’m feeling like i am just disappointing everyone and everything
and, this year has been a surfeit of me feeling like i’m disappointing people because of health and vehicle problems and other things
yeah, i’m doing really good with this here
today’s inktober/drawlloween/drawtober was “worst fear”, and disappointing people is one of my worst fears
i’m going to go have a nap
so, the last couple of cons have been a bust: coulee con because both gnome and i were ill with food poisoning or a stomach bug or something *blech*-inducing, and meta con because our tiny child ariel needs to go to the vet
which doesn’t have an opening until tuesday, which theoretically should have meant that we went to meta con because vet, however, we don’t want to leave ariel unattended when she’s not well
(it’s nothing horrible–we hope–we think she just has earmits somehow, but she’s itched her ear bloody, and that is a CONCERN)
(i would appreciate it if the universe would let up a little on me and my students because we’re all having THINGS collectively: illness, ariel, the saga of the couch that came without the actual couch, early births, book theft, me being unclear about things–so. much. THING.)
so, if you were excited about seeing tentacle-made studios at meta con this weekend, know that i wish i were there too, but my precious darling is a priority
seriously, look at that darling face–how can i not stay home and make sure that the tiny child is okay?
thank you all for understanding
okay, not literally, but hyperbole is a salve to my soul, so just–go with me on this one
despite being told over and over that the beginning of the year is somehow this immense, new time of possibility, i can’t help but remember that our western new year is an arbitrary designation of “new” and “start” and “beginning”.
we begin when we begin, and having this imposed designation, i often think, just harms us more than it helps.
but, as with most things, your mileage may vary.
that all being said, there is a certain energy that permeates the west at the new year that does propel us all forward–whether we ascribe to the imposed “new” or not.
which is a weird, random way of saying that these were my projects from last year, and these are my projects for this year.
y’all, it’s been a solid minute since i did the thing where i talked to y’all, and i apologize.